Icarus – a cautionary tale for the overambitious

Posted on May 18, 2013 by

In Greek mythology, Icarus follows his father in fleeing Crete.  His father cobbles together wings for them both out of wax and feathers, but in his wisdom and experience, cautions Icarus to religiously follow his flight path, neither flying too high so as to melt the wax, or too low so as to fall into the sea.

Icarus dutifully agrees, but in experiencing the dizzy heights and elation of flying, discards the wisdom of his father’s words (sound like any other teenagers you know?) and decides to fly higher and higher, caught up in the emotion and lure of the flying.

The rest (as they say) is history, as Icarus flies too close to the sun and melts the wax, resulting in his feathers falling off his body plunging to his death.

The lament of Icarus - a cautionary tale

This cautionary tale is such a brilliant  metaphor for many things – including one for your teenage boys perhaps.

But in terms of leadership, it portrays the seduction of ambition, and what the consequences are of being entirely focused on our own ego, advancement, and benefit.

It is one thing to strive to become the best we can be – after all, it is a good thing to seek to reach our full potential.  On the contrary, it is a completely different matter to become fixated on our own advancement at the expense of others.  Stepping on the heads of colleagues, or over promoting ourselves beyond our current capabilities in our plight for cultivating perception rather than true, holistically valuable outcomes, is an unrealistic pathway to success.

Hogging the limelight and managing upwards at the expense of results in order to retain (or obtain) status is a similar recipe for misadventure.  As I mentioned in a previous blog, being a good manager and being a successful manager are not necessarily the same thing.

So what can be some of the causes of this Icarus complex? 

In the fantastic handbook FYI: For Your Improvement, A Guide for Development and Coaching, the authors (Michael M. Lombardo & Robert W. Eichinger) describe aggression, and a lack of people and political skills as possible causes. They even refer to over ambition as a career “staller and stopper”, giving it the gravity it deserves in terms of career management.

In my coaching practice, when I have witnessed over-ambitious traits, it can often seem to arise from a desire to prove one’s self and an innate perception that career advancement or positioning is closely attached to happiness.

This can be amplified when there is a lack of feedback, or when we are unaware of our own strengths and weaknesses.

Here are some antidotes and remedies:

  • Seek out feedback from others (360 degree is always best) about your strengths and weaknesses.
  • Take your mind off the next role for the most part and focus on achieving your current KPI’s. Taking responsibility for the good and the bad that occurs under your watch is the sign of a good leader.  You may not have caused it, but you are accountable for it.
  • Promote others over yourself and embrace cooperation over competition.  This may seem counter-intuitive, but it can actually lead to exactly what you seek.  Some of the most successful leaders I have worked for use language such as ‘our team’ in comparison to ‘my team’.  They also delegate to encourage development, allowing their staff access to the limelight, and opportunities to shine at the next level.

Focus on your peer relationships and direct reports as much as those above you.

Encourage others to succeed and so too will you.  That is what will ultimately give you wings.

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How to Get Better at Saying ‘No’

Posted on May 15, 2013 by

Whether in our personal lives, or in an organisational environment, saying ‘no’ can be a challenging but important skill to master.

It can feel especially difficult (and risky) when saying ‘no’ to someone in a more powerful position (such as a boss or customer), but knowing when and how to say ‘no’ is an essential part of being an effective leader.

As a prevalent topic for me in my job as an Executive Coach, I have come to realise is it not the ‘why’ which is important – we all know the benefits of saying ‘no’ from time to time.

Amy Saying No

My Communications Manager Extraordinaire, Amy Cunningham saying “NO! We are NOT doing a blog on the importance of workplace doodling.”

The hard part is the art of actually saying ‘no’ i.e. how to do it, what words to use, and in what context.

Here are my 4 top ways to get better at saying no:

1.  Ascertain the importance.  Before jumping in with a response, think about how important the request for your time and energy is on the ‘scale of priorities’.  Ask yourself the following questions:

How integral is this task in helping to achieve my/our priorities?

Is this going to help move us closer to achieving our goals or strategy or is it a ‘nice to have’ that has the ‘feel good’ factor, but drags us away from what needs to be done?

2. If saying ‘no’ straight off is too hard, buy yourself some time so that you can consider it further, or ask more clarifying questions around time commitments and priorities.  A simple, “Let me think about it and get back to you” can work.

3.  Eliminate something else. If the task is of integral importance, then something else will need to go.  Saying something like, “I’m currently working on project X and Y, however, if you feel this new project is more important, are you comfortable with me prioritizing this over the others or prefer we consider other alternatives such as assigning this work to someone else?” can work.

Communicate the fact you can do it now, but make sure you discuss what cannot be done at this time – or should be delegated to someone else.

Letting go of something from the priorities list will help to reduce the likelihood of increased stress levels, errors, and producing unsatisfactory results.

4.  If it has to be a yes, ask for a due date.  It seems obvious but one of the mistakes I have made before is creating my own artificial deadlines.  Rather than saying “I will have that done by…” instead ask “When do you need this by?” On occasions where I have presented my own somewhat unrealistic deadlines, which I have then struggled to meet, I have found if I had simply asked, I could have bought myself a few more days – and a whole lot less stress.

The art of saying ‘no’ takes time to fine tune, and as with all leadership attributes, the first time we do it can seem awkward.  But by pushing through the Red Zone,  we eventually become comfortable with being uncomfortable – and in the end, it’s a win/win for everyone involved…including the person you are ‘saying no’ to.

Do you find it challenging to say ‘no’?
Do you have any tips in mastering the art of saying ‘no’?

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How to Make Transitions Easier

Posted on May 10, 2013 by

In my last post I talked about the importance of letting go and identifying the things which can hold us back in doing so – both personally and professionally.

Awareness and acknowledgement are (as with most things) helpful when facing transition, however the key thing to remember is:

The death of one thing makes way for the birth of something new.

When there is an ending or a beginning (whether it be in your personal life or on an organisational level), it seems obvious to say, but, there is a new ‘beginning’ to experience and an ‘ending’ to experience too. 

Transitions can be untidy and disharmonious, so it may be helpful to be aware of the different elements of a transitional process.  Having ‘meaning’ may also make transitions easier to bear.

Here are the three main stages of any transition:

Endings:

  • Can be painful.
  • May evoke a sense of loss – even if it is you who has chosen to move on.
  • Are akin to Autumn (if we were to take a seasonal analogy).

Neutral:

  • Often involving a sense of disorientation or confusion.
  • Requiring time and space to be alone.
  • May result in disruptions of rituals and habits – so being aware of and accepting of this is helpful.
  • Can arouse feelings of irrelevance, a lack of meaning, and a ‘what next’ mindset.
  • Akin to Winter.

New Beginnings:

  • Can come in the form of an image or a dream and are often non verbal.
  • May overlap with the previous and/or different stages.
  • Akin to Spring.

Plant

Saying to ourselves, or those we are leading, “I/we/you should have got over this by now” is not helpful when in different stages of transition. Adopting black or white thinking, or even having too many expectations can hold us back.

Takeaway:

What have you found to be helpful when facing a transition? 

 

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Why Leaders Must Let Go

Posted on May 8, 2013 by

As I write this blog, I am watching the autumn leaves fall so effortlessly from the trees in Nelson (it’s Autumn in New Zealand).

IMG_4503

Me and my girl, enjoying another beautiful Autumn day.

I am reminded how we can learn a lot from nature – even in business and leadership. Mother Nature knows a thing or two about life cycles, when and how to let go and that in order for there to be new ‘life’, so there must be ‘death’.  It is the natural order of things.

But boy, do we resist dying and cling (often desperately), when the wisest thing is to just let it go.

In her wonderful book on leadership, Wild Courage, Elle Harrison dedicates a whole chapter to this concept and says that often in an organisational context, “dying (decline and endings) are seen as failures”.

Here are just a few examples of the concept of ‘letting go’ in the workplace:

  • Death of that hero product that defined our career and on whose back our company rode the waves for so long but is now past its ‘use by date’.
  • The scrapping of a new initiative or business idea we thought was the panacea to all our ills, and fought so hard for, but which has failed to fly.
  • Redundancy or resignation are ‘deaths’ of sorts, by a requirement to leave something behind and start afresh. Even the changing of the guard of CEOs  provide an opportunity to examine and acknowledge transitions.  Air New Zealand and Fonterra are just two examples of organisations who have recently experienced this in the form of the resignations of Andrew Ferrier and Rob Fyfe.
  • At an organisational level, even mergers, buyouts and insolvency are examples of the death phase of business life cycles.
  • On a personal level, we often clutch at outdated ideals and even frames of references that have served us well in our decision making to date, when it would serve us better to say farewell – and move on to a more helpful approach.

In their article Why Good Leaders Make Bad Decisions, Campbell, Whitehead and Finklestein raise our awareness to several traps associated with holding on to the past:

Distorting attachments: when we become attached to people, places and things – bonds which affect our judgement we form about both the situation we face and appropriate actions we take – and;

Misleading Memories: memories that seem relevant and comparable to the current situation, but lead our thinking down the wrong path.

As Andre Gide so eloquently puts it:

“Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore.”

In my next post I’ll talk about the transition process of letting go and how to make it easier, but in the meantime ask yourself - what do I (or we) need to let go of?

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A Tribute to a Great Leader: Parekura Horomia

Posted on May 3, 2013 by

This week I have been struck by the outpouring of grief and respect for Parekura Horomia, who passed away on Monday at his home at Mangatuna, Tolaga Bay.

The New Zealand Labour Party MP and former Maori Affairs Minister was said to have had a physically enlarged heart – which was as much a fact as it was a metaphor.

Parekura Horomia

I would like to pay my respects to Horomia – who was indeed a big man, with a big heart.

He worked tirelessly in the community with people from all iwis, walks of life, and sides of the political fence, to front a united voice for the people he represented.

“For a huge man, he covered more miles than an athlete,” said fellow MP Shane Jones, and in my opinion he was a man who embodied the selfless leader by all accounts.

Although Horomia spoke quietly,  people invariably listened, his notable achievements including his role in helping Labour push through the Foreshore and Seabed legislation, and in keeping the Maori electorate onside when Labour could have been eliminated in the Maori seats.

The outpouring of love and respect from those who he worked with is testament to the legacy he will leave behind.

Horomia has taught me that even those with quiet voices have the ability to steer significant change - provided you have the right mindset and the courage to share it with others.

As a leader, what will your legacy be?  
How is your contribution helping to make a difference?  
What would you like to be remembered for?

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TED Time: Practical Wisdom, with Barry Scwartz

Posted on April 30, 2013 by

If you’re anything like me you will look forward to a bit of ‘TED time’.  Just the right mix of inspiration and relaxation, listening to the variety of insightful talks at TED is a small pleasure I have come to savour.

Because of this, I have decided to make TED reviews a regular feature at The Leader’s Digest.

Click on the video above to hear Barry Scwartz speak about the call for ‘practical wisdom’ in the current bureaucratic business environment.  Scwartz argues everyday wisdom is the vital ingredient in helping to rebuild a world entrenched with rules and regulations that so often fail us.

I found his perspective intriguing because he espouses the power of words not often found in business like ‘virtue,’ ‘kindness,’ ‘improvisation’ and ‘moral skills’.

I hope you enjoy sharing my series of TED talks with your teams and colleagues.  Similarly, if you would like to recommend any I would love to hear from you.

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The power of seeing potential in others (an ode to my Dad)

Posted on April 26, 2013 by

One of my earliest childhood memories was of my father kneeling down beside me, looking me in the eye and saying with such love and conviction – “You are so clever, Suzi.  You can do anything you want, and be anything you want to be.”  

I was four years old, but I still can remember it as clearly as if it was yesterday.

Suzi McAlpine at age four - The Leader's Digest

He saw the potential in me and as a consequence, I saw the potential in me.   I know with every fiber in my body if he had told me I would amount to nothing, I would not have achieved or become the person I am today (work in progress aside!).

As leaders, our influence on those around us may not be as powerful as a parent-child relationship, but it is still incredibly strong.  Our attitude to human potential and the potential of those we lead can make a monumental impact – not only to their performance (and our own as a consequence), but also to the performance and culture of our organisation.

The default attitude to those we lead must be one of seeing future potential in others…not current limitations.

An ode to my dad - thank you for realising the potential in me.

An ode to my dad – thank you for realising the potential in me. Image Source: Andrew McAlpine.

The effect of our attitudes on potential is sobering.  A number of experiments have shown that people will generally live up to the expectations we set them. In one study, a set of teachers were told a group of school children had learning difficulties. Another teaching group were told their students were exceptionally bright, a third were the control group where the teachers were told nothing.

You guessed it, those who thought they were academically above average performed better, whilst those whose teachers were told they had learning difficulties did far poorer – despite the fact that both groups had equally dispersed abilities and were subject to the same teaching curriculum!

If we judge someone by what they currently display and not what we believe they are capable of achieving, we in turn attract a continual production of the same outcomes.   It can be easy to fall into the trap of ‘fixing’ rather than facilitating change in others.

Truly believing people can change and have more potential than they may be currently demonstrating is an attitude I am trying hard to cultivate.

As the quote goes…

Beware your thoughts; they become your words.
Beware your words; they become your actions.
Beware your actions; they become your habits.
Beware your habits; they become your nature.
Beware your nature; it becomes your destiny.

This also applies to seeing potential in others. Every person has an acorn within, and with the right conditions that acorn can grow into an oak tree.

Here are my 4 top tips to encourage potential in others:

1.       Believe it can be done.  As my dad believed in me, your belief in those you lead can be a vital catalyst in their success.

2.      Motivation.  Just because someone has the makings of a great leader it does not necessarily make them so.  If they don’t want it, you are best to live with that and leave it alone.  In fact motivation (or the heart factor) is the fuel that drives change.  If they don’t value it or want it, the potential will lie dormant.

3.      Persistence.  As the adage goes, if at first you don’t succeed, try and try again.  Learning something new takes time and dedication.  Remembering to celebrate small milestones and mantras such as ‘two steps forward, one step back’ are useful.  Change does not happen overnight.

4.      Patience.  This is something we don’t tend to have much of in our modern corporate world.  The unrelenting short term focus apparent in business is not conducive to patience, but we must try and be as patient as we can within the constraints of delivering performance.

Finally, I will leave you with what I think is the most impactful example of what can happen when you see potential – not limitations.

I wonder how different Helen Keller’s life would have been if her teacher, Annie Sullivan, had not seen the potential in her.  Helen Keller, a young girl who was both blind and deaf, had an extraordinary teacher Annie Sullivan who helped her learn sign language.

Helen, who had been too much for her parents to handle due to her violent outbursts and a perceived inability to learn, was encouraged to communicate and achieve amazing heights, in terms of reaching her full potential.

Her teacher, who was also blind, saw Helen’s potential…and the rest is history. The end result is such an inspiration that the story remains relevant to this day. This is a true example of the limitless power of the brain to learn – and of what can happen when someone else sees the potential in us.  

Is there someone in your life – a mentor, teacher, parent or boss who truly believed in you and what you were capable of?

How did they make you feel?

What impact did they have on you realizing your potential?

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